Irrevelancy is on the March, North Carolina!

From the title you might think I'm writing about Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign. If you're one of her supporters, you deserve to feel good about your candidate today, and perhaps you'll even be inclined to throw a few bucks at her to help erase that $10 million in debt.

Actually, though, this is a very serious diary that goes out to the good Democrats of the Tar Heel State. Please heed my words, dear friends. I'm very concerned about you, and what you might do to yourselves on May 6, the day of your state's Democratic primary.

It might not be safe to write about it in a public forum, but consequences be damned! This is a grave issue. Should you to vote a certain way, you might unwittingly terminate your own existence in the eyes of one candidate's campaign.

No, it's even worse. You won't just be dead, you will be... irrelevant.

Irrelevancy is no laughing matter. It may even be a pandemic amongst progressive Democrats. Identifying a problem is the first step to solving it, so I will dub this hideous beast Sudden Voter Irrelevancy Syndrome (or SVIS).

Good people of North Carolina beware! Like Illinois, Connecticut and many other states across the nation, irrelevancy... I mean, SVIS has you in its formidable crosshairs!

I've found ample evidence—even on this very site—that a presidential candidate, like Hillary Clinton for example, will soon visit your community and take to your local airwaves to tell you how much you matter to her and how concerned she is about your problems.

She will criss-cross your state and marvel at the deliciousness of your cuisine, cradle your wailing babies and maybe even affect a folksy southern drawl to win you over.

Then, early in the evening of May 6, expect an eerie silence. You will have already voted in the primary—likely against Senator Clinton given recent polls—and you will wake up the next day to find out you and every Democrat in your state are now irrelevant.

What are the symptoms? A campaign surrogate will be quoted in your morning paper or on television the very next day with a plethora of reasons why North Carolina no longer matters, despite everything their candidate—perhaps Hillary Clinton—has been telling you for weeks, if not months.

SVIS (trademark pending) can strike that fast.

Presently there is no cure. But with research there is hope. And I seem to have a funny feeling that we'll find a way to cope with SVIS by July 1.

Spread the word, friends!